I just posted a blog on my Biblical site “Word as Light.” It is a testimony on Matthew 6:24, you cannot serve God and money. I pray that it may wake up some parents who have also fallen into the idolatry of serving money. It is easy to do, but God is patient and merciful.
Why Can’t You Just Give Us $100?
I have been curiously watching my kids count their money these last few days and I finally decided to find out exactly what all the interest in money was about. Turns out that my drummer boy had found what he thought was a Nintendo DS for $7.98 on the Internet. I explained to him that what he had actually found was a cover for the DS and then showed him that the DS was actually over $200.
I told him that it would take a long time to save up $200 and the money he earned this month must go towards Christmas presents for his siblings. This month they are to be thinking about other people, dying to themselves, in honor of our Lord who gave up His throne in heaven to be born and to die for us. After awhile of mulling it over, my drummer boy asks, “Why can’t you just give us $100?”
“What!!!” Does he think that I just have an infinite amount of money to hand out? Thankfully his sister explained that $100 would be a lot of money, but I am doubtful she really gets it either when she will not hesitate to ask for this and that. Could it be an illusion from Monopoly when they get $200 for passing Go, along with $500 here and $1000 there for various real estate properties? We have been playing a lot of that game lately. I believe it has definitely sparked some interest in the value of money in real life. But we don’t live in Monopoly world kids! You can’t buy Park Place for the $350 that you got for doing nothing but rolling dice.
So I was left contemplating and asking God for the wisdom to show my kids the value of money in the real world. I already have them work for their money. I do not give them an allowance for doing just your basic everyday chores, but I only pay them for doing what I don’t want to do and would in fact pay someone else to do anyway. You know, the hard things like cleaning out the pantry, the refrigerator, the kitchen cabinets, the laundry room, etc. When I open up a drawer and find crumbs or sticky whatever in it, I call the kids, “Hey kids! Wanna make some money?” I pay my 7 and 10-year-old $5 an hour and the 5 year olds get $3 and hour, since most of their hour is simply watching the older kids. This month I am giving them each $20 for cleaning out the laundry room shelves and the pantry. This might take a total of 2 hours, but I am giving them a bonus, so that they can buy Christmas gifts for their siblings.
But this won’t answer my drummer boy’s question as to why I can’t just give him $100. And to simply answer that I don’t have $100 would really not be quite true, since he sees how much I spend at the grocery store, especially Costco. Yes I could just say because I need it for food, which would be true, but I desire to really show him, to teach him, the reason that I can’t just give him $100.
So break out the abacuses kids! You’re going on a tour through the family budget. That’s right! In the month of January, they are going to sit down and budget with me. Every time I purchase something, they are going to subtract it from the book real time. Every time I pay them to do chores, they are going to see exactly where it comes from and how much is left. Then they will truly understand the reason that I just can’t give them $100.
Proverbs 10:4 Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.
Teaching Children to Give
A teen in our church youth group went to the city tree lighting ceremony last year and her heart was moved to provide for the homeless people she had seen there. This year she rallied her fellow youth group members, and the church body, to stock bags full of items to feed and keep the homeless in the city warm during the winter.
I took this opportunity to teach my younger children the value of giving. I had them do some chores around the house in order to earn money with which to purchase items for the bags. All was going well, until we got into the car with the items we had purchased. One of the twins began to put on the beanie he had purchased for the bags. I turned to him and said, “You do know that the beanie is not for you?”
His smile turned upside down really quickly, and he almost started to cry. The other twin looked sad as well. I explained that they already had their own beanies, but there were people that did not have any beanies at all. These people did not even have any homes and they had to sleep on the streets all winter. I had already explained all of this to them before, but it obviously needed to be restated, with beanies in hand. I asked them how it would feel to sleep on the street all winter. The older kids also explained to them that it would be very cold. I am not sure if they truly understood, but they sadly put the beanies away.
Each child then put the items they had purchased in the Christmas bags, which were to be handed out on Black Friday. We prayed as a family each day that the Lord would prepare the people to receive the bags and that each person would get exactly the items that they needed.
On Black Friday, we headed down to the city. Each bag was handed out in a matter of minutes. While hanging out in the area to witness, a man came up to us and said, “I have been out here for a while and know these guys and I wanted to let you know that each one of them got exactly what they needed in those bags.” Praise God!
My 4-year-old twins may still believe that being in need is not having a Nintendo DS or the latest Disney toy, but this experience was one step closer to giving the taste of reality beyond the plush life they live at home. It has become more and more prevalent that more of these “learning to give” sessions are necessary for all of them. The Goodwill trips are too abstract, and there is no sacrifice in giving up extra toys. Having to work hard for the money it cost to purchase necessities for those in need is a start in instilling Godly character, but ultimately I pray that caring for those in need is a quality that will come from each of their hearts as a result of God’s love for them.
Acts 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
How do you teach your children to give?
Happy Thanksgiving!
I have fallen in love with Thanksgiving again, and I owe it all to Barbara Rainey’s book, “Thanksgiving A Time To Remember.” Not only have I fallen in love with this holiday, but I have also fallen in love with America, especially the faithful Christians who first settled here. I no longer just grudgingly cook for days for that 15 minutes of palate pleasure, but now I cook to honor those who have come before me in order for my family and I to worship our God and read His Word freely. Praise God!
The book was actually given to me as an answer to prayer. I had been praying for a way to really make this holiday special for my family while honoring our Creator. I had been praying for a new Thanksgiving tradition, and this book is it.
What are your Thanksgiving traditions, other than eating the traditional meal? Let me know in the comment section below.
Now, in honor of Thanksgiving, I present my list of top 10 things that I am thankful for:
10 My faithful, furry, and four legged running partner
9 Our warm home
8 This beautiful country
7 Calvary Chapel Yelm and all the faithful servants there
6 Our good health
5 My faithful friends
4 My mother and father
3 Each of my 5 children
2 My amazing husband who loves me as his own body
1 God’s mercy and grace through His Son
Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless America!
Death of a Ballerina
Ok so the title is drastic. My ballerina did not die, but she may as well have killed me! Since the ballet season began, my ballerina has protested through tears about her tights, her hair, and the long drive. Her tights are too tight and uncomfortable, she hates her hair in a bun and the process we have to go through to get it in one, and she hates the long drive to the studio. I have done my best to encourage her. I have used lotion bars to soften her skin before pulling up the tights. I have tried several different brushes and hair products to comb the knots out of her hair and I have allowed her to select stories and music for the drive. These accommodations, however, have all been in vain.
Tonight was the third time she told me that she did not want to go to ballet. Again I asked her the reason, knowing the answer all along. I asked her if she liked to dance and she confirmed that she did, but not enough to go through the rigmarole to do it. Had I had her opportunity, I would have driven to the ends of the earth, sat through torture, and worn a corset just to get to dance. But here we get to the real heart of the issue. Dancing has always been my dream, my heart, and my soul. My circumstances did not allow me the opportunity to dance as a career, which was my dream, but I danced every opportunity I had. I was always the first one on the dance floor and the last one to leave. I took as many dance classes as possible in college. I took as many ballet classes as my mother could afford, and was even captain of the dance team in high school. As a mom, I took open ballet classes at the nearest dance studio whenever possible, but these bits and pieces of dance never satisfied the dream I had to become a professional ballerina. After having 2 boys who were obviously musicians, I was hopeful when my daughter was born. She has the perfect ballerina body, long and slender, with a naturally high arched foot. She takes her classes seriously, practices at home, and performs beautifully on stage. She has all the makings to become a ballerina, except the heart. Sure she enjoys dancing, but she doesn’t have the passion, and in the highly competitive world of ballet, passion is the key to being successful.
So I am giving in. I am tired of the tears. The Lord has shown me that this is my dream, not hers. This is not easy for me. It is hard not to question God. Why do I have this desire in my heart to dance? Is it from Him? What does He want me to do with it? Why did He give my daughter a dancer’s body, but no heart for it? Why did He give us a house an hour drive from the nearest, decent studio and kids that get carsick? To see one of my kids pursue dance with the same passion I have would be a dream satisfied.
So I am left with the battle between flesh and spirit.
The Lord asks, “Does it glorify Me?”
I argue, “But Lord you give us bodies that can move beautifully.”
He responds, “ They exchanged the truth for a lie and worshipped and served created things rather than the creator.”
And He asks again, “Does it glorify Me?”
“Not in this world, my Lord, not in this world.”
So the ballerina has died, yet since I believe the Lord is the God of the living, I wait to witness a resurrection. We will dance, one day, for His glory, just as David danced when he brought the ark back to Israel, for His mercy is the only real reason to dance.
A Reason to Homeschool
Since releasing his mind from the grips of autism, my drummer boy has been more inquisitive than ever. He attends speech therapy once a week at the neighborhood public school, and while there these last two weeks a series of questions have arisen which have caused him to have some “aha” moments. The first conversation went as follows:
“Mom, why do we do school?”
“So you can learn about God.”
After some silence and a curious expression, I explained further. “You learn how to read, so that you can read God’s Word. You learn how to write, so that you can write praises to Him that even other people will be able to read. You learn math and science, in order to understand His creation better.” This seemed to satisfy him and we began our therapy session.
The next week, as we were leaving therapy, he noticed the school buses and said, “Mom, I am going to let my kids ride the school bus.” I asked why and he explained.
“It would be fun.”
“What is fun about sitting on a school bus? Last time you were on a bus, you got sick.”
“Oh I remember! I did not like that bus. I do not think I will want them to ride the bus, but I am going to let them go to the school.”
“They don’t learn about God in the schools.”
“Oh!” he said while looking down rather sad. Then with a smile, he looks up and says, “Well then I am going to homeschool them. Mom! I am going to have to find a wife that believes!!!”
Amen!
Thankful for Homeschooling
As I reflect on the many blessings that I am thankful for this season, I am especially overwhelmed with gratitude toward God for the grace he has given me to be able to homeschool my children. Prior to homeschooling, I was a public school teacher. I chose the teaching profession, and a degree in Child Development, in order to stay close to my then newborn son. Raised by feminist parents, my idea of being a stay at home mom was nothing more than cooking and cleaning, and heaven forbid, catering to my husband’s every need. I was mortified at the thought, but once my son was born, the thought of leaving him in the hands of someone else was even more mortifying. If I couldn’t have him with me at all times, then I at least wanted him right next door, even as close as the next classroom over. Becoming a teacher, so that he could attend the same school that I taught at was, in my eyes, better than staying at home.
About two years into my teaching career, a dear friend wanted to take her son out of public school in order to homeschool, and, since I was swimming in the Kool-Aid of social indoctrination, I talked her out of it. (Insert foot in mouth.) Two years after that, I felt the Lord, and my husband, press on my heart to have more children. I decided that if I was going to have more children, I didn’t want other people teaching my children while I taught theirs. I wanted to teach my own children.
As I look back, I realize that God guided my heart to a career in teaching, so that I would have the confidence to teach my own children. Because of my experience with kids in public school, I understand my own kid’s learning challenges as well as their strengths and I am able to build on what God has given them so that He may use them for His glory. My children thrive at home in delight directed learning within a classical framework. Had my composer son been in public school, he would not have had time to develop his love for music. They would have made him see tutor after tutor, and specialist after specialist, in order to improve his reading comprehension. My drummer boy would have been in every remedial class available and probably drugged with a dismal outlook on a world in which he didn’t fit. I certainly would not have had enough time to put him on the GAPS diet, and it is only due to the gift and desire God gave me to cook, that I am able to have him on this diet in the first place. It was God that taught me how to cook and gave me a love for it. The Lord knew the path I needed to take. Now our children have confidence in the One who created them, the One who loves them so much that He sent His Son to die for them. In this confidence, they can do all things because it is He who strengthens them.
I am so thankful and blessed that God has led me on this journey. I am so grateful that he walks beside me, and goes before me in order to keep me on His path, so that our children will know his mercy and grace. And I am most thankful for the change He has made in my heart, to desire the role He gave women, to submit to and respect the man He has given as head over me. It is a secure and peaceful place to be, in His will.
On Spiritual and Physical Training
“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8
It is so difficult for us homeschooling moms to find time among the laundry, the schoolwork, and the cooking, for spiritual, let alone physical training, but we must not neglect either. I have found that my spiritual and physical training is the most essential time of my day. I need this time to be alone and quiet, so I can listen and commune with my heavenly Father.
In order to find time to be alone with God, I have combined it with physical exercise. Four days a week, after school, I go jogging with my dog at my side and Bible verse in my hand. During my 45-minute jog, I memorize scripture, pray, and listen to the Lord.
Memorizing scripture has become absolutely dear to my heart. I don’t mean memorizing random scriptures that pertain to this problem and that, but I mean memorizing entire books of the Bible. The first book I memorized was the Book of Ephesians, mostly while jogging, one verse at a time. I am currently working on memorizing the book of Romans and keeping a goal of a four-chapter rotation in my head. As I jog, I recite (in my head) the 4 chapters that I have memorized and then repeat, at least 5 times, the new verse, which I have written on my sticky note. Memorizing whole books is the best way to understand the entire context of the letter, prophesy, or story. It is also an incredible way to commune with God. He talks to me through His words. I believe it is the closest thing to Adam’s daily walk in the garden with the Lord before his fall. I am convicted, called, and encouraged through this practice.
Memorizing scripture takes extreme mind discipline, and so does jogging up and down hills for 5 miles. Both of these disciplines keep me focused and self-controlled during the day. The scripture verses help when I really need to take my thoughts captive, while jogging keeps my immune system strong and my lungs and heart healthy.
This time alone with the Lord for my physical and spiritual well-being is a life long commitment and I let no excuse prevail. When my twins were infants, I jogged with them in a stroller. Sometimes I jog when my husband is home so that he can watch the kids, but most of the time, my oldest is home to watch them all. When it rains, I get on the treadmill. I do prefer to jog outside, so if it is not pouring rain when I am ready to run, I will go outside. My dog is happier to get out too, although we have been caught in a few hailstorms.
In other seasons of my life I have exercised to workout videos. It is also possible to commune with the Lord while exercising to workout videos. Once you are familiar with the routine, turn off the sound and memorize scripture. Pilates and yoga are my favorite exercise forms by which to memorize scripture.
Spiritual and physical training is just simply a priority. It is as important to me as eating. Building godliness while physically training benefits both the present life and the life to come. Disciplined moms train up disciplined children.
The Dreaded Piano Lessons!
All these were under the direction of their father for the music in the house of the LORD, with cymbals, stringed instruments, and harps, for the service of the house of God… with their brethren who were instructed in the songs of the LORD, all who were skillful… 1 Chronicles 25:6-7
While I was pregnant with my first child, my heavenly Father impressed on my heart that each of my children were to be taught music. I knew this thought must have been from Him, because I hated the piano. If I never touched a piano for as long as I lived, I would be perfectly happy. I was forced to play the piano for 10 years and hated every minute of it. Actually… I can only remember hating it, but I certainly must have liked it when I started. So how could I possibly subject my kids to the same horror that I experienced? Well only by the grace of God, of course!
My oldest child, the composer, was my first reluctant piano player. I started him in lessons at 5 years old. The lessons were always very difficult for him, because of his learning challenges, but he played with such emotion and sensitivity, that I knew through diligence and perseverance he could be great. With him, it was helpful to remember that giving up was not an option and by the time he was 14, he finally started to like it. At 13 I told him he could choose another instrument to play, but he stuck with the piano. He is 17 now, practices at least 2 hours a day and spends the majority of his free time composing. He also plays the keyboard with our church worship band and leads the youth worship band. At one point he came to me and wanted to quit his classical training in order to just focus on composing. I explained to him that the classical training is what makes composing and playing with the worship band so easy. The classical training is his exercise in the same way that barre work is necessary for every ballerina. No ballerina likes to do those boring barre exercises, but they do it for the glory of being on that stage. Don’t ask me why I would use a ballerina example with a 15 year old boy, but it was all I could think of, and thankfully, it worked.
Ok… so kid number one…check!
My second child is a musical prodigy. He came out of my womb drumming. He has the focus and drive to practice, although, even he, at times, gets discouraged. A little encouragement, though, is all he needs to get off and running again. He is taking drum and guitar lessons. Guitar is more of a challenge for him, and it takes a little extra coaxing to get him motivated, but he sees the big picture and is motivated to be a rock star.
Kid number two…check!
My third child, the ballerina, has been the biggest challenge yet. She is a gifted little musician, but absolutely lacks drive and motivation, and simply doesn’t want to do it. I started her in lessons at 4. Her teacher saw her potential and advanced her quickly. She was fine and compliant until she was about 6, when it became a crying miserable mess every time she sat at the piano to practice. I decided that the problem was due to the fact that she was advancing too quickly. I discussed this with her teacher, but he just said that she was doing fine. He, however, was not at our house everyday for the practice session meltdowns.
So at this point I needed to re-evaluate the reason I was making her take lessons and play the piano in the first place. It wasn’t important to me that she was able to play with perfect classical technique, nor was it important that she was able to memorize 15 pieces by June. What was important was that she learned how to read music so that if the Lord ever impresses upon her heart to play for Him, she may be able to do so. Considering also her love for dance, I knew that playing an instrument and understanding music would only aid in her ability to dance. She may not understand that yet, but she will thank me one day. So I decided to take my ballerina out of piano lessons. I picked out a Disney music book and a Contemporary Christian worship music book and had her choose one song from each. We took it slow and she began to learn each piece at her own pace. No rushing, she had no deadline to meet; I just wanted her to gain the discipline of practice.
***At this time, I would like to break in my story to thank my darling mother for forcing me to stay in piano lessons for those dreaded 10 years. It is because of my mother’s commitment, that I have the ability to work with and teach my children music. So the argument for forced piano lessons wins again!***
Anyway, practicing these pieces, which she chose, went well for a while. But then, she either got bored, or it got too hard, because the crying and pleading struck again. I could no longer take it, so I resorted to having her just play the scales for a while. I was determined that she was going to at least sit at the piano every day. At this point, I really didn’t care what she did there, but my will was going to win. Really, I did want her to enjoy it though, so I prayed hard and waited for an answer. While waiting for His answer, I noticed that she was content sitting at the piano and playing her scales. This interested me and made me think that the pieces she was playing were really just too long. She liked it to be short, simple and sweet. It’s like a child who you know can read the chapter book, but when left to his own choosing, picks up the picture book to enjoy instead. Then one day, when picking up the composer from his lessons, I asked my ballerina to look at the music books in the store to see if there was anything she wanted to get. She found the answer to our prayer.
The books are called Treasures in Technique and what attracted her were the stickers inside. For every achievement, she gets a sticker to place on the pirate map. The exercises are short and sweet and she now willingly practices everyday. We haven’t had a tear since we bought the book. Granted, I did by the book that was a step below her actual level, but since we don’t have to keep up with anyone else, who cares!! She likes that she can do it all by herself, because it satisfies her need to control and be independent. Oh and she loves solving the mystery pieces and collecting her stickers. The FJH Music Company is genius!
So with all of this, I should probably have it all figured out for when the twins begin their lessons. Right? Well I do know that I will be taking it slow, and praying for God’s guidance. Learning to read music and play the piano is not an option, but how they go about doing it is up to them. I plan to keep it short, sweet and easy at first. I may try to find a hobby teacher that I can really work with. As I look back, this is the type of teacher that my composer started out with and she is the reason that he never hated playing as much as my ballerina did. His first teacher was fun and easy going. I unfortunately started my ballerina with my composer’s master teacher. He had the agenda to make her a master musician at an early age, but this was not the path God created for her. She knew this and made it clear by her actions, since I would not listen to her words. She was not purposefully defiant, just resisting a mold that she did not fit into.
It is not my intent to have master musicians who can play Mozart with perfectly curled fingers while never missing a note by the age of 10. It is my intent, however, that my children become skilled musicians in order to play for the glory of God when he calls them to do so. God will give them joy in their hearts for everything they do for Him, as long as we are obedient to faith.
Update on the Logic Boxes
The Logic Boxes seem to be more of a hit with the ballerina than the twins. If she is playing though, the twins will join in. The Lego box has won over the twins, which also fits in the logic category of the trivium, so I am not too worried about it. However, they have only reached the surface of what is really in each box, so I am hoping that with more exposure they will dig deeper and really “play” with some of those cool “toys.”
My one rule is that they may not ask me how to use or play with anything in the box, but I do encourage them to tell me how they are playing as a way to practice some skills within the rhetoric category. This is difficult for me. The teacher in me is always wanting to instruct and correct. It was especially difficult when I saw them flinging the counting bears across the room with the balance scale. GASP! When I saw this, I had to direct them in figuring out a way to make sure that we didn’t loose any bears. My ballerina suggested that they try to fling the bears into the cups, which were also in the box. Well that was not really what I intended with counting bears, sorting cups and a balance scale, but it did prove that their problem solving skills are right on par. They did create a fun game.
This week I may limit the lego box a bit. I am interested to see if they will discover more treasures in the logic boxes without the distraction of the legos.
Eternal Light Homeschool Academy 