The twins have been in a constant battle over things. When it is time to brush their teeth, they race to be able to stand on the favored stool. Then, they proceed in a shoving match to determine who will be the king of the stool. They fight over who will wear the batman cape. They fight over the ball, the Star Wars ship, and the Lego men. I can’t keep track of whose toy is whose and they lie about it most of the time anyway.
My initial reaction to their selfish tendencies has not been any more helpful in resolving the conflict as their fighting has been. I resort to yelling and snatch the item away out of frustration. While brooding over this constant bickering, The Lord was faithful to give me a bit of wisdom. He showed me that I wasn’t teaching them how to resolve the conflict by taking the toy away, or by yelling at them. Sure it fixed the problem at that moment, but the behavior never changed and the fighting just resurrected when they became fixated on another item of desire. Looking at this now, I realize that I was just reacting out of my own flesh, because I was tired. I was being a lazy parent.
Now, instead of yelling or removing the item, I am teaching them how to share, the joy of sharing, and the peace that comes from giving. One twin gets the favored stool in the morning, and the other at night. The Sharpie has become my best friend and I use it to mark the owner’s initial on toys, in order to keep track of what belongs to whom. They can no longer lie about that. The child who owns a desired item has exclusive rights to whether that item is shared. Of course, they usually don’t want to share their toys, but with positive guidance through scripture and God’s gracious love for us, they eventually make the right choice. There are times when they just can not be moved to share, and if it belongs to them, I let it be.
There is an inner joy that comes with sharing. I can see in their countenance that when they give in to their selfishness, they really aren’t very happy. It is my intent to give this feeling a name, maybe guilt? They need to know the difference between these two feelings, so they will learn that God’s way is best, because of the inner peace and joy they will have when following Him. We are relational beings created to fellowship with each other and our Creator. My children are most happy when they play together. This is the environment I intend to foster, by the grace of God.
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
1 Timothy 6:18
They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,